The Best Way To Motivate Staff
Threaten all the negative people if they don’t shape up you’ll fire them on Christmas Eve. And be clear, firing will continue until morale improves.
Ditch The Grievance Procedure
If you have a problem don’t whinge, get over it. If it’s serious, offer to step outside and sort it once and for all.
Reject Difficult Customers
Tell them to stick it, life’s too short. We might go bust but we’ll go bust with our heads up.
Remember a small debt is your problem, a huge debt is the bank’s problem. See the British economy for more background on this point.
We know we should be conserving the Wonga, but its soooo boring. January can look after itself, enjoy!
Spend All Day On The Internet
This isn’t a new idea, but I did hear that if enough people in our company constantly visited Facebook, YouTube and Google we would crash our IT system and be sent home early!
Start Fantasy Forecasting
Uprate all forecasts by 30% and publish. For 24 hours everyone will feel wonderful and the world will be a happier place.
Get Hammered At The Office Christmas Party
A few people need telling, the boss especially, and there’s somebody new in the office who is very easy on the eye……..